it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize