i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
