pop tarts are not kleenex
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
