I skipped work to stalk him.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
