dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize