Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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