dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
