she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
