Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
