I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
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Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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