erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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