Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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