I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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