Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
