What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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