I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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