You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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