All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
