it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
