That's when you crack a 10am beer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
