i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
