I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
