I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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