Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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