so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
