Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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