You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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