Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
