he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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