I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
