miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
