You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize