Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
