Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
  Replies (10) Good night (680) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Um, that's called prostitution

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

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  (917): Um, that's called prostitution (773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money http://tfl.nu/jjue
  Replies (4) Good night (2600) Bad night (434)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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  (727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e
  Replies (26) Good night (903) Bad night (10138) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

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  (612): Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home http://tfl.nu/ug2x
  Replies (76) Good night (7305) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

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  (214): Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse. http://tfl.nu/4gmt
  Replies (35) Good night (9951) Bad night (3028) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin

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  (847): but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin http://tfl.nu/l2xr
  Replies (11) Good night (5747) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

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  (970): I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not. http://tfl.nu/wxss
  Replies (19) Good night (7265) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.

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  (248): We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod. http://tfl.nu/ciwq
  Replies (3) Good night (1977) Bad night (1396) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed

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  (404): The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed http://tfl.nu/y06v
  Replies (10) Good night (2840) Bad night (733)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS

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  (941): I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off (1-941): Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS http://tfl.nu/yudy
  Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (437)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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  (405): Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/ecpk
  Replies (17) Good night (1566) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.

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  (260): I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is. http://tfl.nu/8her
  Replies (16) Good night (1316) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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  (402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (320)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough

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  (931): pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough http://tfl.nu/s0pj
  Replies (4) Good night (392) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find

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  (215): shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find http://tfl.nu/sf13
  Replies (4) Good night (524) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt

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