is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.