Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Anal.

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  (615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people. (1-615): Anal. http://tfl.nu/eagl
  Replies (23) Good night (3491) Bad night (915)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka

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  (240): At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka http://tfl.nu/5kll
  Replies (21) Good night (1082) Bad night (5501)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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  (248): so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision http://tfl.nu/5juy
  Replies (16) Good night (769) Bad night (3728)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.

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  (763): I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year. http://tfl.nu/q074
  Replies (10) Good night (964) Bad night (3676)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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  (914): He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash. http://tfl.nu/xg6e
  Replies (9) Good night (3377) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.

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  (281): Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute. http://tfl.nu/xxsd
  Replies (12) Good night (3678) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax

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  (630): This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax http://tfl.nu/k33t
  Replies (3) Good night (1540) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement

  (310): View more from California

  oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.

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  (310): Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement (310): oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos. http://tfl.nu/drm3
  Replies (6) Good night (2258) Bad night (679)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?

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  (301): Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed? http://tfl.nu/ow4j
  Replies (5) Good night (1464) Bad night (506)
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  (315): View more from New York

  you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.

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  (315): you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/5ljo
  Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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  (713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq
  Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to hide in the table.

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  (973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up

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  (360): Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up http://tfl.nu/7s1p
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  The tryst?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.

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  (952): I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst. (1-952): The tryst? (952): The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity. http://tfl.nu/9sse
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.

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  (731): He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever. http://tfl.nu/ca2r
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (265)

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