Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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  (301): White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss. http://tfl.nu/246p
  Replies (5) Good night (709) Bad night (1384)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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  (917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h
  Replies (283) Good night (1298) Bad night (13519)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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  (781): I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation. http://tfl.nu/r77c
  Replies (19) Good night (5148) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez

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  (719): One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez http://tfl.nu/v3fs
  Replies (6) Good night (2378) Bad night (1010)
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  (310): View more from California

  He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

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  (310): He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance. http://tfl.nu/gr0i
  Replies (25) Good night (9247) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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  (443): he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off http://tfl.nu/yisu
  Replies (30) Good night (1980) Bad night (4455)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

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  (407): woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over. http://tfl.nu/kn1h
  Replies (11) Good night (674) Bad night (3277)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!

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  (980): I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!! http://tfl.nu/427k
  Replies (15) Good night (1985) Bad night (1220)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls

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  (402): you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls http://tfl.nu/fn2c
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (3450)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.

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  (619): After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation. http://tfl.nu/dnza
  Replies (10) Good night (3027) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.

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  (850): He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville. http://tfl.nu/tme9
  Replies (20) Good night (1069) Bad night (2544)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.

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  (502): Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home. http://tfl.nu/5iun
  Replies (15) Good night (532) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Finding that toy duck there was weird right?

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  (503): This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again." (1-541): Finding that toy duck there was weird right? http://tfl.nu/x1mm
  Replies (0) Good night (721) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.

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  (303): Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash. http://tfl.nu/958z
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (321)

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