I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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