The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
