get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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