I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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