Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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