everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
