Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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