What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
