Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We are two peas in an std pod
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All the doctor said was why
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
