It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
