I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
