He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
