Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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