She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
