Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????