I think about you every night.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks