where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"