so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.