Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
