I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
