shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
