I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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