yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
