i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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