he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
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it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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