Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize