who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
